Sprechen Sie Deutsche?

Several of you have asked whether or not I have learned German. The short answer is: not yet. The longer answer is that I have surrounded myself with German speakers, audio lessons and dictionaries, and everywhere I go, people speak English!

Studying English is a mandatory part of the German education system. And most Germans are keen to practice with native speakers. Of course, a handful of store owners frowned at me when I told them, “Ich spreche keine Deutsche” (I don’t speak German). But the majority of Germans have simply begun speaking English to me after they hear how poorly I attempt to speak their language.

The people at my office come from all over the world, so several languages are spoken. About a quarter of them do not speak any German; they speak English and their native language. The Germans are usually pretty considerate about switching to English when they are in the company of foreigners, but it is obviously more comfortable for them to speak German, so often they switch back without noticing.

I have now sat through three meetings conducted entirely in German. I did not know whether I should just tune out and begin reading something I had brought with me, or whether I should join in and laugh disingenuously whenever the room erupted at a joke that I clearly did not understand.

I did start laughing (however this time, *ingenuously*) when all the Germans began banging their fists on the conference table after one of our colleagues gave a presentation. What a hilarious kind of German nonsense joke! Ha ha ha!

Strangely though, no one else was laughing.

I later read in my culture book that this is the German equivalent of clapping.